I have pondered on intuition every now and again, but when I started thinking about building Real Estate Structure, my curiosity really piqued.
What is intuition, and how do we actually listen to it? Or how do we know if we can trust it?
Is it connected to spirituality, a sixth sense or spidey sense? Is it woo woo or is it science?
My first thought was that this must be something we tap into more and more as we get older, or am I a late starter?
The Kaleidoscope Moment
When I was at a crossroads in my career, my friends and family threw all the suggestions at me (often the more someone tells me to do something, the less inclined I am to do it, lol). I tried being open to new ideas, and went to a few completely different job interviews. Got excited about a new direction for five minutes afterwards, then thought, "Who am I kidding? That's not what I want."
After lots of connections and conversations (sometimes with too many Pinot Gris), I woke up one morning and could finally see it (in my head). And I had to admit, it wasn't a brand new idea, it wasn't that different to what others had been suggesting all along and I'd been dismissing. But now, I'd twisted the kaleidoscope backwards and forwards enough for it to become crystal clear. Suddenly the ideas were flowing, it felt right, I was energised and excited. I thought, "This is it, this is me."
When Doubt Meets Intuition
But in my cautious nature, I mulled this over for a while... was this really a good idea?
I was feeling all the good things, but I was also scared and hesitant. I wanted to know if this was because it’s something I really wanted (and was going to be hard work, a massive commitment and huge responsibility), or was it because it wasn’t the right decision?
Looking Back at My Intuition in Action
I thought back to times when friends and co-workers have said, "Far out, I can't believe your intuition was bang on." Usually it was about someone who made me want to walk in the other direction or instantly got my hackles up for no apparent reason. So you tend to ignore that gut feeling because you can't explain it or it seems irrational. You push through the dread and wonder why you're feeling drained and angry - until eventually their true colours come out and you think, "Hmm, my intuition was right." Hindsight is a beautiful thing.
It's unfortunate that someone has to prove themselves a *hithead multiple times before we actually heed that warning. Is it actually possible to trust our intuition at the beginning and avoid the damage?
I once had a colleague who would often comment on how a negotiation would play out, and I'd say, "You don't know that." He always said, "Call it a hunch, or call it a gut feeling," but I was convinced he knew more about the situation than he was letting on - but who knows, maybe it was his intuition.
Another friend that I really admire was listening to me describe a situation at work and said, "It sounds like you work intuitively, similar to me."
"Wait, what do you mean?"
She explained, "You don't know how you do things, but you work it out as you go and it all comes together. You're trusting your gut and following your instinct."
This wasn't something I did consciously, but it made complete sense when she said it. When I start a job, I don't always know where I'm going or how I'll get there, but somehow I do. Explaining to someone HOW I do something and writing down a step by step process isn't easy - it can be more like an evolving road map; there's more than one way to get there.
Creating structure takes dedicated time and focus. I have to consciously do something again and again, taking notes and asking myself questions. Why did I do it that way, what if I did it this way, can it be done better?
Digging Deeper Into the Research
I came across an old article in Forbes magazine about 'The Science Behind Intuition And How You Can Use It To Get Ahead At Work,' which wrote about executives seeking help to develop their intuition. They see it as a 'superpower' to use in all decisions at work as well as a guide for how to be good leaders and organisers. They believe the best edge is being authentically yourself and playing up your unique strengths. It said, "There is nothing more 'you' than listening to your gut."
The article went on to explain that, it's no accident we use the terms intuition and gut feeling interchangeably, because science has now shown us that our gut has a brain of its own - a second brain, so to speak. In fact, our gut has an entire network of neurotransmitters called the enteric nervous system. When the neurotransmitters in your gut fire up, you may feel either butterflies or queasy sensations. If you pay attention to your gut, quiet your mind, and inwardly pose the decision as a question, it will help amplify your intuition and guide you towards the answer.
Of course, knowing this and putting it into practice amid today's busy and noisy lives is easier said than done. We're often too distracted to listen to the signals from our own minds, bodies, and brains. Sometimes we simply need to pull over, take a break, and check the map. Is this road really taking us where we want to go? Why are we feeling frustrated and fatigued? Are we heading in the right direction? Are we in the driver's seat, or are we letting someone else do the driving?
Joel Pearson (a psychologist and neuroscientist) defines that thing we can't quite put our finger on as: "It's the learned, positive use of unconscious information for better decisions or actions."
Putting It All Together
So what I've learned is that our intuition is a human cognitive ability. Our brain unconsciously processes past experiences, emotions, and sensory information from our environment to form a 'gut feeling'. This can pull us towards things that are meant for us or push us away from things that are not right for us. Our intuition helps us to know the right thing to do, but we need to choose to listen and act upon it.
Making Your Environment a Product of You
This one is a little off topic, but I recently heard a snippet of an interview with Chelsea Handler about her book 'I'll Have What She's Having' (which I now need to read!). She wrote about how Jane Fonda invited her over for dinner to call her out on her behaviour and said: "Don't be a product of your environment, make your environment be a product of you."
That hit home for me, thinking about the real estate environment and how it can become hazardous, like the high life in LA haha. There is lightness and darkness in everything, one doesn’t exist without the other. Sometimes we look around and think "I want that," but just as often we see behaviours and think "I don't want that."
Chelsea went on to explain what this had meant to her - to sprinkle your goodness around, find your fairy dust, find out what your thing is, what you're good at doing, what brings you joy and then go and impact other peoples lives.
Wherever you are, make it a better place and light things up.
This perfectly described where I was at. I wanted to claim my own environment, create my own path, and bring more goodness and balance to real estate, the field that I love. My intuition was pulling me towards what brings me joy, my values and how to positively impact others while making this a better place.
Still Learning, Still Growing
After all this contemplation, I've realised intuition is backed by science (even though I struggle to comprehend science, I believe it!). It's not woo woo, and utilising our intuition to be more decisive and confident in the decisions I make is a skill that we can develop - and it's still a work in progress for me!
Whether that's deciding on what to have for dinner, a relationship, an adventure, choosing a job, or starting a business, I haven't got it all figured out, yet I'm going to trust that as I lean into my intuition more, it will become clearer and clearer.
But just quietly, it would be a whole lot easier if our intuition just screamed at us in plain English!
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What about you? Do you pay attention to your energy? Do you trust your intuition or do you second guess yourself? Do you think it helps you make better business decisions or be a more effective negotiator?
Get in touch, I'd love to hear your thoughts.